So, dinner with Paul went alright. He was late and hadnt shaved. All in all, I would say he didnt make it an important priority. Ah well. We ate, watched a movie and he went home. Didnt spend the night, didnt do much at all. So, is he uniterested or what? I dont know. He said some things that make me think he is thinking in a serious way. Who knows. We certainly are not dateing yet.

In fact, I am in a pickle. He admitted to me that a few days after our first date he slept with his ex-wife. Yes, he did. I was really torn as to what to say or do about it. I mean, on one hand, we had only just met and were not dateing. And I understand the phychology behind ex-sex. How attached you feel to them after so many years and how less like sex it is. And he was honest with me about it.

But on the other hand... he slept with his ex- and told me about it, thus a reaction is requiered so that he knows that were we in a serious relatioship, this would not be acceptable. I just dont know. I dont want to start something with someone that is still fucking his ex. Because that could be the beginning of an ugly cycle. So, I am keeping him at causual date until I feel a bit safer.

He says he just did it to make sure he wasnt still in love with her and to be sure he wanted to move on. He says he does. I dont know if he knows what he wants yet.

On a new male possibility front, I went out with Jackie last night... met someone named Mike. He is a logger. And he was very interested. I gave him my number, told him I didnt sleep around but would consider a date if asked. Not sure if he was just feeding me lines to see if I would go home with him.. time will tell. He was really cute though. I dont know if I would date him, but I am willing to find out. Not shutting down my options until I have at least a semi relationship with Paul, cause I may just be his transition gal.

I feel weird about this all. I mean, I know this is how people "date". They casually date several people and when one begins to take shape as something more like a relationship, then they decline any further invites from other interests. Still, it seems akin to cheating. Maybe because I was never single when I was young. I never "dated" I was married and monogimous from the get go.

First I had to get over my tendancy to attach to someone right away as if after one date we were in a relationship. Becasue I kept scareing men away with that attitude. Now I am working on the "dateing" thing. It seems naughty though. And I dont want to sleep with anyone I am not seriously interested in, yet I cant get know that with them until we have a handful of dates. So, this delicate balance must be found.

anyways, if you made it this far, here are some pics of my new fish- why Sean insisted I name one after him is beyond me- hes a weirdo

So, here is Sean...

and Sam....

and here is Creepy- its eyes are ON TOP of its head...

and bubba with the big cheeks

and then Tapioca who is the bully of the tank even though he is not the biggest