Its friday and I have a ton of shit to do after work. Paul is comeing over for dinner on saturday. So, I have to get my place guest worthy. I keep it tidy, but first time over and all I suppose I should clean a bunch.

I am makeing spaghetti and we are gonna watch movies I think. I hope it goes well and he has fun. Its kinda weird because I live so far out of town that I would assume he will spend the night... but we are not haveing sex yet.. so.. ya. I dont know what should happen.

On a more depressing front, I have had horrible dreams about Todd all week. Again, I am sure because I am starting in a new relationship, compareing everything to him, thinking way too much about him. Would I willingly erase my memory to save so much pain? Lose the happiness that I felt with him, just so that it could no longer haunt me? I dont know. Somedays I would say yes... others I would rather die then be without what he added to my life. At any rate, I am going to try very hard not to let it all ruin this weekend.

Paul is really sweet and funny. We have a lot in common- but only in my 2nd shelf. Meaning, my top shelf things- kayaking, art, literature, wine, photography etc... not much in common. But my secondary hobbies, like comic books, movies and video games etc- we have those in common- he loves batman the best and we like a lot of the same kinds of movies and music. But not sure how long that can sustain it. I do hope he is open minded enough to learn a bit about art and try kayaking. I want someone that would get all dolled up and take me to an art show or a play- yet be laid back enough to go fishing from a kayak and sleep in a tent. I dont know. We have a simular sense of humor- so thats good. Otherwise I tend to offend. We will just have to see. Wish me luck.