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i miss the sun

It is hard some weeks to find time to bathe, let alone get my Holy Christmas shopping done. However, I did. And wrapped. And I dyed my hair brown.

Tuesday I exchanged gifts with my first group. Jenni and fam. It was low key but enjoyable. Tonight I exchange with Amy and fam. Tomorrow with the work folk. Saturday and sunday I work. But I understand that Paul and I will exchange gifts on sunday night. Monday is first my familys house and then his.

Christmas is an awkward time for unstable relationships... who do I buy for, how much is not enough, how much is creepy and weird... whos house do we go to, how long do we stay.. what does this or that say about us... I just want it over with.

We had been doing better. But now he is sick and I am stressed and theres this holiday looming like gravity on broken glass. Maybe if I concentrate really hard I will wake up and it will be 2007.

Two thousand and seven. Hmm. That seems at first glance to be a number I would be excited about. Alas, I hate twos. But since I have been dealing with the two for 6ish years now, I guess I will just be happy about the seven and not let the two ruin that. Cause its always gonna be there. Wish I had appreciated the 1977-99 years more as now I will be stuck with that damn two for the rest of my life. Oh well.


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Dec. 21, 2006






"Om Mani Padme Hum"




"Experience is a hard teacher - she gives you the test before the lesson."




"Be who you are and say what you feel because people who mind dont matter and people who matter dont mind."




"A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner"




"Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped."




"One must know that there is a path at the end of the road."




"Knowledge without courage is sterile."




"Do not injure what you can not kill."




"Life is short you say?- It is the longest thing we ever do."




"All victory breeds hate."




"Animosity does not eradiacate animosity"




"There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path."




"Time is what prevents everything from happening at once."




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