Hmmm. Friday. I pick Paul up at the airport tonight. Gonna make him dinner and hang out. Hes been gone since last Thursday, thats the longest hes been gone so far. He went to lalapalooza and then san fran for work. :(

We are still slated to move in together by the first. Ive got most my stuff packed and organized... im scared though. But I think thats ok. I mean, if I wasnt... I would be being foolish? This is a huge step and a big change for me, being on my own for 3 years now. But as much as I am afraid of all the bad things that could happen... Im excited for the positives. Cuddleing up on the couch to watch tv, and not haveing to watch the clock so I can get home in time to let the dog out and get to bed... him comeing home and me already being there, and so on and so on... And then there are many non-him benefits for me too. I can save some moneys...I will have cable and internet at home again...closer to work....

And one of the biggest for me.. I wont be alone when I get scared. Just last night I had a handful of nightmares about someone breaking in and then about someone pushing me out a window..so on and so on, till I finally just got up and watched tv. When I get these panic attack nights...it will be a welcome relief to know he is near.