4th of July approaches. Just over two weeks.

Last year I spent it on the ranch with my father. Kathy and I drove the coast that afternoon in her convertible; smoking pot and looking for fireworks to buy. Good times.

The year before that, I was in my first apartment. My world was more alive and hopeful then I had never known it to be. I sat in my window sill, drinking coffee and talking to Todd all night long. The best of times.

This year, I will be alone. But that is by design. My uncle and his family are going up to his cabin on Big Pine. I asked him to haul me along. But I wont be staying with them.

We head up Friday after work, and I am sure I will sup and rest that night with them all. However, crack o' dawn Saturday, I will depart in my little kayak loaded with my gear.

The lake is huge. By huge I mean 4,730-acre huge. I intend to make it all the way around the shoreline and back before my uncle leaves on Tuesday. If I make good time I will port to Little Pine and include that on my trek.

I have to get kayaking a bunch the next 2 weeks so that my arms don't fall off the second day. And supplies and gear are being checked and rechecked. All risks are attempting to be met with a counter.

I am a little afraid. To go all alone that is. I am not sure of what though. I think I may only be afraid because since I started planning this people have been telling me its not safe to go alone. But when I think on it...
what exactly might happen?
snake bite.. got a snake bite kit.
get lost.. got a compass and a map and could always just follow the shore line back
storm... got a tent and don't plan on straying out of eyesight from the shore.
huge fish might swallow me whole? Ya but what the hell is second person gonna do for that?
a bear attack?- see above logic
unplanned medical emergency- such as a heart attack or seizure- well, to be honest, even if said second person were trained in cpr- its actually very ineffectual in saving a life. Its good for keeping oxygen in the brain of someone dyeing until the paramedics arrive...but...well, gonna take awhile on a lake that big so again... don't see what good a second person would do other then to report back to the world what has happened to me.

Now, the bad side of taking someone else...
1. people annoy me
2. people smell
3. other people are noisy and may attract said bears and large fish
4. don't want to talk
5. don't want to be held back or rushed
6. don't want to share my food or pot
7. and the most important one- I just need this. I need to be up there on my own and alone for all 4 days. I am taking for recreation only my camera, a notebook with pencil and my eyeballs. Just some me and nature time.

I will post MANY MANY pics.