I saw something disturbing yesterday. And after a night of insomnia and pouring over books of myth, lore and omen, it now consumes me with the ever constant doubt and unrelated superstition that rules my life. The doubt comes from the very real fear that what I see might not be real. However, that is a darker matter not wholly important to this blog other then to acknowledge the question of my tale's authenticity. There were several witnesses to the beginning of it, so at least that much is real. Unfortunately, only I was present for the horrific and bizarre end. And while that may cast some incertitude upon my tale, perhaps even to myself, I want to share it just the same.

As I stepped outside work to have a cigarette yesterday, I saw a small bat fluttering about. Yes, a bat, at 2:30 on a bright sunny afternoon. I thought to myself, "what an odd hour for a bat, perhaps his home has been destroyed by the construction nearby". Next, a random man walked by and looked up to see what I was squinting at. He then repeated my very thoughts aloud to me. Which of corse was spooky but I chalked it up a mere coincidence. The man passed and the bat and I were alone again. I watched him for near 5 min dashing around over head. Here and there he swooped so close I wondered if he was drawn to me and might run right into me eventually. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a crow in a tree 500 feet to my right. Just as I did, the bat started hovering in a small pattern not four feet from me and just slightly above eye level. All at once the crow swooped down and snatched him right in front of my face. I saw it all in such slow motion and detail that I remember exactly how the crows feet and claws landed on the bat and the way the bat reared in attempt to free himself. The strangest part of the whole thing was that very moment in time. The bat made no sound when the crow latched on and then the bird's head turned slightly to look me in the eye as he captured it.- as if to say, this is mine! Then time caught back up very quickly and the crow flew away.

Now, the ever superstitious one in me, the one that paints protection symbols on her windows and scribes in doves blood when the sky is right; cant stop my mind wondering what it all means. In my studies last night, I found so many contradictory interpretations of each involved animal that I don't know what to think. In an attempt to end the vacillation between its good or evil nature, I tried to discern the omens intentions. Was it an omen meant for all who may see it, or directed at just me? For not only does each culture attach different meanings to symbols, but individual's lives can also alter how a vision will be interpreted in their mind. Example; I am of a heritage where the majority of lore involving the bat is negative. Much European and American legend associates the animal with death, disaster or spirits of the devil. But I have never felt particularly attached to my born heritage and or culture and much more identify with ideas and beliefs of the Eastern world. Much of the rest of the world holds the bat in high esteem and considers them to be good luck. Even so, the bat was assumably killed by the crow. So where does that leave us?

Had this been a dream I would wrangle it's meaning to lie in my fear that I am not where I should be and exposed to things I can not deal with, thus I am in danger. But enough words have already been spent on that dismal and pointless topic. And this was not a dream. It happened, to the best of my memory, and every interpretation leads back to the same problem. If the omen was meant directly for me, wouldn't it stand to reason that the choice of animals used would be made knowing my beliefs about them? Or was it generic to the culture of the area where the omen takes place? Its perplexing to say the least. So many ways to interpret this event and I cant even begin the work. I am filled with anxiety and fear over the whole thing. I may just see what happens to me and interpret the omen in hindsight of what ever event I was being warned or promised of.

*side note to those that made it this far*.... it was my greatest hope to use the word apogee in this blog. However, even my tenancy to misuse the word due to a desire to overuse the word, did not prevail..... wait. No, that is all.