So there I was, sitting in my jammies, playing on the computer and my phone rings. Not a number I know, so, I dont answere it. Then they leave a message. It was Mike, the logger boy. He left a long rambling message about how he would like to see me and if I was free tonight etc etc.

Well, I thought about it, called him back, and agreed to meet him down at the bar in town. When I walked in there were a ton of people so I couldnt see him anywhere. Then Rachel, the bar owner, came running up and told me he had told her to watch for me and direct me to where he was at. We had a really good time and danced and played pool. I kissed him goodnight and he asked if he could call on me again.

Where does this leave me in the fella department?. hmmm.

Mark- who I really care about and spent all of the fall trying to develope a relationship with- I only see him once or twice a month because he is anti-social and such- ie- he doesnt really like me enough to make much effort. And we are at friend status currently.

Paul- who told me he cant get into a serious relationship. Or even a dateing situation boyfriend girlfriend thing. Basically I think he wants a fuck buddy.

And then new to the horizon, Mike, really sweet, but just too young I think for anything more then casual dateing to come out of it. Plus, not sure I trust him at all, he is so damn fulsome. And slightly possessive I can already see, which as we know frightens me.

AGGGGGGGGGGGg.... so frustrating.... the ones I want, dont want me, the ones that want me, I dont trust. hmmm. I should ponder what this all means. Just shit luck, or do I sabotage everything in my head. I just dont know.