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2006

I know many of you spent a portion of your New Years Eve wondering what Jamie was doing. Ok, not really, but for just a moment I will assume you care at least a smidgeon or you would not have clicked on my blog/diary/rambling. So, I will begin.

I toasted the ending of 2005 with the only person in this world that really matters. The only one that when I look in their eyes; I can tell if I am doing right or wrong in this life. Myself. That�s right, me and me spent the entire evening treating ourselves to bubble baths and wine. We made no corrective action plans for the future and no reprimands for the failings of the past. Instead, we tried to loosen the grip of irrational accountability that sucks all joy from the scraps of progress we have made in this life. I said goodbye to 2005 with the releasing of much irrational regret and a more healthy sense of hope for 2006.

I have recently come to the frightening as well as relieving realization that the things I want in life are not things that any effort can really produce. I, like everyone else, want to be happy. And what makes me happy is love and health. Both these things are in the hands of fate. Granted I know there I things I can do to increase my odds, but really, nothing you do can insure that you have either. Finding love is as random as living through your drive home from work.

Everything else in life, your home, car, job, bank balance..... meaningless in the quest for happiness. Not to say I plan on quieting my job and becoming a homeless person. Just that I am starting to see the difference between pleasure and happiness in a deeper sense of the two words. I have spent too much of me dwelling on failings in the areas that have little impact on happiness. And even more time fretting over the things I have no real control over.

So, at the tolling of the New Year, we ate 12 grapes as per a Mexican tradition. And for each beautiful red grape we made a silent wish for my new year. No promises, threats or proclamations designed to guilt me into action and make me feel like less of a person for failing at. Just a list of simple things I hope to experience this year. Because everything else, either doesn�t really matter, or is a matter of fate.


Leave me a NOTE :)



Jan. 03, 2006






"Om Mani Padme Hum"




"Experience is a hard teacher - she gives you the test before the lesson."




"Be who you are and say what you feel because people who mind dont matter and people who matter dont mind."




"A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner"




"Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped."




"One must know that there is a path at the end of the road."




"Knowledge without courage is sterile."




"Do not injure what you can not kill."




"Life is short you say?- It is the longest thing we ever do."




"All victory breeds hate."




"Animosity does not eradiacate animosity"




"There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path."




"Time is what prevents everything from happening at once."




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