Another long cold weekend behind us. Ok it was 27 below with the wind chill this morn. Fuck! My old van barelyyyy started. I cant blame her really. I didnt want to go out there either.

Christmas is comeing... I work. I picked up 20 hours total this next weekend. Guess I am trying to cover up the holiday. Its a depressing time of year no matter how happy I try to be. I have no one. I am alone. I have my family, but just being around them reminds me of how alone I am. I mean, I am almost 30. All my cousins are married- several have kids. Hell, most of my cousins are younger then me and already have a family. Then you have your aunts and uncles, and you know they were all married and with children much younger then you are now. Fuck, its depressing.

On top of it all, I am beyond broke. Like worse then I have ever been. I cant afford to go grocery shopping, let alone buy any gifts. I keep trying to think of something I could make that I have all the stuff for. But nothing really suits anyone. Ugg. I am so tired of being broke. I was doing ok, till the furnace broke.

Now I have to dig my way out from that. I had little choice as I must have heat to live. SO, no bills got payed and they wont stop calling. Rob peter to pay paul and hope I make it to work on the gas I bought with the last of my cash. Also, rely heavily on the pity of my friends and family. My little sister gave me one of her inhalers and my granny gave me some fruit. Jackie wanted to go out this last friday, I told her I couldnt, so she bought all night. Its sad. Really sad. And I feel like an ass.

Bah hum bug. and ho ho ho.

--- (loud noise and slapping sounds)

ok, all better. Everything is wonderful and life is grand. All is well and will continue to be. Cheeeeeery b0b0 is back- disregard all the whineing and bitching that grumpy b0b0 did today- I have put her back in the drawer. yaaaa. I loveeeee mondays!