Where to start... well, had a "friends but lets see what more" date on saturday at a bar near me. Well, one of my best friends flirted with him all freakin night and WENT HOME with the guy!!!!! Can you even believe that shit. I was absolutly floored as I watched her throw herself at him. Prick ditched me and went off with her. I hate men. Just as well, he was really unattractive in several ways.

Ho hum and ah well, I dont think I was really ready yet anyways. As soon as he got to the drinking establishment it felt wrong. He was just a jerk to me and obviously likes his women a bit more slutty. Are there men out there that ALSO happen to be human. I havent found one in a long damn time.

So, then I left and went home feeling RATHER shitty and obviously rejected I called a few friends to blubber to them. I called sarah and she said that everyone was over at her place and to pop over so they could cheer me up. One problem with hanging out there- derek my ex husband is renting a room from them. Now this is normally not an issue and we are friends. But with how shitty I was feeling, I didnt know if I could handle watching him with his new girlfriend. So I asked if derek was home. She said no. SO I hopped in the van and went over.

So I got there- must have been 25 folks some of which I know well and some not at all drinkin and hanging round. I listened to mike play his guitar and had a couple of beers. Well I went outside for a smoke and got drenched. Luckily I alwasy have extra clothes in the van, so I grabbed a dry shirt and went into a spare bedroom to change- And WHO and WHAT do my sappy eyeballs have to witness- derek in bed with 2 gals goin at it! UGGGGGGGGGG. Ok, not my feller anymore, but STILL!!! The whole thing had me feeling so uneasy. I mean everyone there knows that I am dereks ex wife, so when they saw I had opened the bedroom door and saw what I can only assume they knew was taking place - well, no one really knew what to say to me.

I just plunked down on the couch and started laughing hysterically with everyone about the oddity of the situation. I then drank a bottle of rum with noah and asher then sarah and mike. Noah was very sweet cursing derek for haveing no sense of decency or consideration and if he werent just a pup I would be interested in him. He is cute and interesting, but lord, all of 23. Just not an option.

But they all cheered me up and liquered me up, then we went to breakfast. So, by sun up I felt slightly better and went home to crash. I miss hanging out with them guys. Sometimes since derek is renting a room from them, well, it just doesnt seem appropriate for me to go over there. Ah well. I needed to be around friends after the night I had.

Sunday I got a great big sorry letter from this jack ass from earlier in the night. And no call from jackie at all. Hope she realizes how aweful she behaved. Not something I think I could even forgive. Its not that I knew this guy real well or had much invested, but JESUS, what a tramp.

Lets all just cross our fingers for me that NEXT weekend goes a bit better and I dont get my pride and self worth smashed into the ground. I just dont know how many more times I can patch it all back up.