Ya know, I have been thinking about friends alot lately. I dont mean the show. I mean friends that were so close at one time and now they're gone. Where did they go. Just drifted away.

It's sad really. I had a dream about an feller named Tim that I used to be best friends with. I dont remember much of the dream but I know I was happy to see him again.

We were near inseperable for a time. Derek was working nights when we lived in california and I was so lonely all the time. So Tim would come over and we would watch the Lakers together, drink often and talk about life. I was always trying to hook him up with gals I knew. We talked on line, on the phone all the time. I gave my first painting to him.

When I moved here we kept in touch for a little while. Then his email address didnt work anymore and I called his mother to find he had run off to New York with some gal he met online.

I miss him and hope he is doing well.

I just cant stop thinking about all the people that were at one time or another a huge part of my life and are now gone. I wonder if they miss me as much as I do them.

I think thats why I have been so possesive over jen since she moved out of my house and in with her boyfriend. I dont want to lose her too. I worry that all that keeps us close is that we work together.

I suppose the man in my head will say now that friendship is a two way street and I need to...blah blah blah blah blah....I know, I know, but they DO leave me.

Anyhoo....gonna go now.